Homecoming ~ Second Chances
by Lady Tempest
Summary: *future YAOI content* Seifer/Squall (Companion piece to Homecoming ) How does Squall deal with Seifer's disappearance? *Spoilers* for FF8 and Homecoming.
1. Prologue

Author's Notes: This is a companon piece to **Homecoming**_, _one of my on-going Seifer/Squall stories. It's Squall's perspective on the story. I never expected to write this, but while working on some scenes in Homecoming I realized there was so much that was missing with only Seifer's pov. Besides, I think it might make some events in Homecoming more interesting by knowing what really is going on. I also never expected to write it, or anything else, in first person, but I felt it worked, at least for this prologue. 

It might be best to read at least the first several chapters of Homecoming first, but isn't necessary since the timeline is nearly concurrent. However, Homecoming is written more 'mysteriously' so as this story develops it may spoil events in Homecoming. Until I finish it, I _will_ try to keep Homecoming ahead of this one to minimize spoilers. 

Disclaimer: Square owns the characters and the world of FF8, I just play with them. 

Warnings: YAOI (male/male romantic/sexual relationships), foul language, angst (always)... 

Pairing: (eventual) Seifer/Squall   


* * *

**Second Chances **   
**(A companion piece to Homecoming)**   
_By Lady Tempest_

Prologue:   


Everyone thinks it was Rinoa who helped me 'open up more'. To be 'freer with my feelings'. Whatever... But it wasn't. _Not _even close. It was Seifer. Yep, that cocky son-of-a-bitch. And he'd take that as a compliment. Always did. And it _might _be possible I threw it and it's many variants at him a few extra times just to see that damn arrogant smirk grow a little wider and his gorgeous eyes light up a little brighter. Might be. Maybe. Just a few... 

I didn't realize it at first, but during that last battle -- the one where I thought I might actually have to _kill _him -- it all started to become clear to me. All the pieces in my life fell together. And I began to see. My life and his. My life and his, together. 

During the battle I did what I had to do. That fuckin' bitch -- Adel, Ultimecia, whatever... -- she had to be stopped or else the entire world was fucked. Seifer was out of his fuckin' mind and in the way of taking her out. I had no choice. I'm a soldier. He's a soldier. I knew he would understand. Know it was nothing personal. Just the job. Not enemies, just opponents. Rivals in a different arena. But it didn't make it any easier. I told myself over and over and over 'it was just the way it was'. 

So, why, when I saw him lying there, in his own blood, blood _I _spilled, did I feel like the biggest fuckin' bastard in the world? Why, having won, did I feel so defeated? Why did I feel like if I killed him it would be like killing myself? 

But I didn't have the time to worry about all that. There was still a job to be done and of course ever dutiful me had to do it. So I left him lying there... and hoped he would be all right. Funny, hope's not exactly something I'm on close terms with, but there it was. I should have known better, because after we 'saved the day' and the world -- whatever... -- Seifer was gone. Not that anyone else seemed to notice or care. They were too busy celebrating. And I was too busy pretending it didn't matter. 

It did. The more I tried to shut it away, to tell myself to 'suck it up, Seifer's dead', -- no sense in dwelling on what I couldn't change -- the more it took hold of me. And the more I realized how much he had really meant to me. He was my friend, reluctantly. Maybe. But _my _friend. Perhaps even my best friend. No matter how much I pushed him away, he came back, more smug than ever and more determined. Nothing could keep Seifer Almasy down. Except... 

...I'm not going there. 

When Sis left all those years ago... Well, it's not like I _ever _was like the rest of them. But Sis was... Sis. My big sister. She was like... like my voice. All the words in my head she somehow drew out of me, or knew. I was too young to look at it that way then, but she... she connected me. To her. To the rest of them. To the world. 

When she left, she took my voice with her. My connection. I was alone. Surrounded by the others, but still alone. All I knew was myself. Inside. Quiet. Alone with only my thoughts. And no one who knew how to hear them anymore. Except me. 

Part of me wanted to reach out to the other kids. To play. To connect. But I couldn't. I didn't know how. Without Sis I was lost. But, I didn't need them. I only needed me. Just me... I could fend for myself, take care of myself, because no one else could. Not truly. No one understood. No one. Except... 

Him. It wasn't the same, yet it was. Or at least close enough. Where the others forced themselves on me, tried to push and shove at the walls I had built around myself, he just leapt on top those walls, balancing on their edge and beckoning with a cocky smirk and a challenge. Enticing me to the middle ground. 

He gave me a different connection. A different voice; Instead of the substitute to my own, sort of a translator, Sis was. He... he dragged me out of me. Sometimes kicking and screaming. Sometimes _literally_. But it was _me_. Me. 

I don't know how. Or why. But he did. Somehow he knew. He understood. And I think that might be why... 

... why... 

... it... I... 

I was... am... 

...whatever... 

I can't believe I'm following that thought again. He's gone. Gone. And no amount of thinking about him and how I screwed up is going to change that. It's like Sis all over again. But worse... 

Now everyone expects something from me I can't really give. Not to them. And them trying to force it from me just reminds me all the more of what I've lost this time. When he... when Seifer... fuck... Fuck! ...Why... why... does it hurt... so much? When he... died... he... he did take me with him. And it's fucking _hell _to pretend I'm still here. 

The bastard! Why the hell did he have to do this to me? He... 

...Dammit! 

They're always crowding me. Asking if I'm okay. What I'm feeling. Expecting me to have 'fun'. And for some fucking reason they think they know me and what I want. That if I'm being my 'gloomy self' something's wrong and of course they're all 'here for me' to make it better. 

I'm tired of it! And I'm tired of them and Rinoa constantly shoving her in my face! Demanding I feel something I don't! But I'm 'supposed to'. Why! Anytime I'm a little preoccupied or enjoying a little breathing space, there she is. 

'Rinoa, he opens up to you, talk to him.' I don't know where they get that fucked-up idea from. The only reason I say anything is because they've gotten so damn uppity ignoring them doesn't work anymore! I'm fucking sick of this shit! Why won't they just leave me the hell alone? My feelings are _my _feelings. None of their damn business! Just leave me alone! 

Ow! Fuck! 

Fuck! 

Note... to... self... walls are... harder... than fists. 

Fuck,... that hurts! 

~~~~ 

* * *

  
(tbc) 

A/N: From here on the story will follow the events from Homecoming, but from Squall's pov, bringing in a side of the story that can't be seen through Seifer's eyes. It's helping me get a little more 'inside Squall's head' which is helping me, I hope, in his scenes in Homecoming.   



	2. Chapter 1

Author's Notes: I've decided to switch to my usual style for the rest of the story and not the first-person pov of the prologue. I just think it works better with Homecoming this way. 

This part fits with part 3 of Homecoming. I hope, put together, the two perspectives create a far richer whole. I'm curious how well (or not) it works out? 

Warnings: Yaoi (male/male romance/sex)(eventually. I intend to actually get to a sex-scene for this series.), foul language, angst... 

Pairing: Seifer/Squall (for those who don't know, I kinda use the Slash designation for pairings, not the Yaoi one. The reason: In slash there is no seme/uke rule. I like to write characters as equals, not with set sexual roles. ) 

* * *

  
**Second Chances**   
(A companion piece to Homecoming, from Squall's POV)   
_By Lady Tempest_

* * *

  
**Part 1:**   


"Squall!" 

Squall glanced over his shoulder as he stepped from the Infirmary corridor, the fur of his jacket tickling his cheek. Rinoa. Her face lit with a smile. 

He contemplated ignoring her and walking onward to his quarters, but knew from too much experience it would only cause him more grief. Great. Just what he needed to cap his oh so wonderful day. Flexing his hand which still tingled from a low-level Cure, he stopped, turned, and waited. 

The giddy brunette hurried towards him in quick, dainty steps. "Squall. Where have you been?" 

"Around," he replied blandly as he rested a hand on his hip. Squall knew being himself was just going to get him into trouble, but he was too tired to care. There was always the possibility of being _so _'aggravating' -- as he'd been called more times than he bothered, or gave-a-shit, to count -- that maybe at least Rinoa would just give up. 

... And T-Rexaurs could fly! He'd have a better chance if he held his breath. Unconsciousness could give him a few hours of peace. 

Rinoa's face scrunched into a disapproving pout. "I've been looking for you." 

"And you found me." Oops. Judging by Rinoa's pout-turned-frown, he was being an 'ass'. Again. Whatever... 

"Squaaaal!" 

Crap! That means the 'You're-a-Meanie-lecture'. Again! Dammit! 

Squall forced a slight smile. "Soooo... Why were you looking for me?" His booted foot tapped softly on the marble floor as he plastered the smile more firmly. 

Some days he really hated being him. Not because of a sense of insecurity -- Well, not much insecurity. Kinda hard to live the life he had without a _few _scars. -- His lips quirked into a wry grin. 

...Rather, for all the crap that being _him _brought him. Moments like this were high on that list of crap. Very high. Very. 

Rinoa tilted her head, her dye-streaked bangs swaying across her searching gaze. With a quick nod, she smiled. "I just wondered where you were and thought you'd go get dinner with me." 

"Been busy." Unfortunately, not busy enough. 

"I know." She clasped the ring hanging from a chain around her neck and pouted. "I haven't seen you all day." 

The ring. His ring. Well, not exactly. A copy Zell had made. For Rinoa. Without his permission. A fine example of why he could never be interested in her. Getting one of his teammates to go behind his back -- a violation of team protocol -- was bad enough. But to return it to him with a ridiculous confession of her supposed affection... in the _middle _of a _warzone_, for Hyne's sake, while his comrades and cadets under his responsibility were dying around them, _that _was the height of an immaturity and obliviousness he could and would _never _get past. Never. 

His hands clenched. Squall bowed his head, his cheeks reddening with frustration hidden by the thick fall of his chestnut bangs. How could anyone be so fucking clueless? Shit! 

It was also a fine example of Seifer _not _being ambitious _enough_ in annoying Zell if the hyper blond had been left with enough time on his hands to annoy _him _or make rings for ditzy, won't-take-no-for-an-answer 'princesses'. However, Zell certainly wouldn't make the same mistake again. A quick reprimand on putting his skills to better and more efficient use and keeping to his own business actually shocked Zell to stillness for several whole seconds while he babbled an apology. 

Okay, so he had said '_maybe _if Zell spent more time using his brain for once and less time fucking around in Squall's business, Zell wouldn't be such a moron'. And _maybe _Zell, after the apology -- while near tears-- was too scared to talk to him for a week. And maybe Squall did feel a little guilty. Just a little. The battle with Ultimecia did bring them all somewhat closer -- Friendship forged by battle and all that. But still, he seriously doubted the blond would pull something like that again. 

"I feel the same way," Rinoa giggled. 

Uh? Huh? Oh. She was still there. And still talking. Damn. What the hell was she talking about? 

"No need to be shy, Squall." 

His brow furrowed as he stared at her through his bangs. The fuck? Shy? Rinoa must have gone to her 'happy-place' again, because she definitely wasn't on _this _planet. If she ever had been. And all evidence on that issue _wasn't _in her favor. 

Before he ask her what color the sky was in her world -- or the 'Don't-incite-the-Meanie-tirade' version, which wasn't as interesting -- someone, a girl, yelled. What? He couldn't understand, but it sounded urgent. And it sounded like it came from near the Entrance. 

Without a second thought Squall broke into a run. Others, students and several instructors, scurried from all directions towards the disruption, some bumping him as they passed. Once he reached the foyer, a crowd had formed at its edge, everyone staring at some thing by the Directory. 

"What's going on here?" Squall barked impatiently, shoving aside a wide-eyed student to get to the literal core of the situation. When the last student blocking his path cowered aside at his scowl, Squall turned to the mound of rags on the floor. And froze. 

Seifer? 

"Seifer!" 

The battered young man strained to lift his head, but collapsed. 

Alive. Seifer was alive! 

"Seifer!" 

Squall fell at Seifer's side, his leather pants squeaking against the cold marble a brake to his momentum. The blond lay still, blue-green eyes open... and blinking. And glassy, dazed. Seifer's gaze wandered, floating, like he couldn't focus, although he was trying. Squall grasped Seifer's shoulder. To help him. To feel him. 

Seifer screamed. A dry, raspy sound of sheer agony. It was agony to hear it. Yet it grounded him in the reality beside him, as the brief moment of solid warmth under his hand had grounded him. Seifer was alive. Real. Real! 

... And in pain. Squall lightened his touch as it roamed carefully over Seifer's body, searching for wounds. Seifer's coat was torn and filthy with dust, mud, and... blood. Blood. 

His throat tightening, Squall glanced at Seifer's dirt smudged face. He was drifting, his spiked-golden lashes drooping as his aqua eyes rolled lazily. 

Squall leaned forward, his breath gusting against Seifer's dirt-dusted golden hair as he whispered, "Hold on." The likely _days _worth of grime and sweat, and tang of blood clinging to the blond tickled Squall's nose, but Seifer still smelled... like... like the best thing _ever_. "Just hold on." 

"Get Kadowaki! Now!" Squall blindly ordered to whomever would hear. The sudden silence was his first awareness the crowd had been rumbling murmurs around him, and he had been oblivious. And he still didn't care. As long as _someone _did as they were just told. 

Absently his hand stroked sweat-stiff golden hair, while the other attempted its gentle examination of Seifer's condition. It wasn't easy. Squall didn't want to hear that horrible scream of pain again. 

A weak smile crept through Seifer's chapped lips. The pain lining his handsome face and clouding his eyes softened to muted happiness. For the barest of moments Squall stopped breathing. It was so beautiful. So warm. His mouth went dry, his skin cold and sweaty, and his heart spun around in his chest. And he had no idea why that simple smile made him feel so... so... strange. 

Well, not _much _of an idea. His friend was back from the 'dead'. Alive. And back with him. That could certainly explain it. Partly. It _didn't _explain why the warmth of Seifer's hair and skin seeping into his fingers shivered into tingling bumps along his own skin. Well... probably residual effects of Cure. Except... that was his _other _hand. 

He wet his dry lips with a nervous swipe of his tongue. Could he...? Was he...? Maybe...? With... Seifer? Seifer? 

Seifer began to murmur, and it was then Squall realized: Seifer was longer looking at him. Squall glanced over his shoulder. He was looking at... Smiling at... 

"Rinoa," Seifer rasped and collapsed into unconsciousness.   


* * *

  
(end part 1)   
(tbc)   


More A/N: I want to thank those who have commented so far on this story, and who have supported my others too. I'm so glad you liked it. I'm also glad some of you seemed to really like Squall's fist/wall comment in the prologue. grin> I almost didn't go with it, but I wanted to add a little touch of the external to all that interior monologue. Funny, how things work out. 

Anyway, I had fun with this. Squall's usually a little more difficult for me to click with than Seifer, but I think that has more to do with the sudden character change from the game -- basically trying to reconcile the Rinoa-fiasco with his previously established behavior. So, I prefer to keep him closer to his persona in the first 2/3's of the game. Besides, I like rude-'anti-social'-prick-Squall much much better than the Rinoa-infected, pod-person Squall he became. He was far more interesting. And funny. (Yes, Squall has a sense of humor and a wicked one at that. Probably part of why he and Seifer actually _do_ get along.) So if you think he's an 'ass' in this fic, it's because essentially he is one. smirk> I always try to keep characters In-character and I hope I have succeeded here. 

I write S/S fics from the perspective (as I saw it in the game) that *if* Rinoa made Squall 'open' up, it was by making him change into someone he wasn't, which isn't love; *Not* by touching his nature in a way that let him be himself and express himself on his terms. Which is how I see Seifer affecting him. Squall always had a choice with Seifer: to ignore him or 'play', he just always chose Seifer. Rinoa doesn't know Squall, Seifer _does_. 


End file.
